french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
American recipes: Use Pillsbury™ crescent rolls and Oscar Meyer™ sausages with your Dairy Maid Dairy™ cheese for a fun NFL Super Bowl LI™ treat!
Friend: “Hey, I haven’t seen you in forever! how are you?”
me: “Fine, thanks.”
Lemony Snicket from outta nowhere: “Of course, in this case, ‘fine’ is only meant to reassure. She has never been less fine, nor was she ever fine in the first place. Here, the word ‘fine’ could be defined as ‘I am actually slowly dying on the inside, but don’t wish for anyone to worry’.
